Oh, that thing peeking out from under my shirt? That's my nerdiness trying to break out.

I'll level with you, Hockey Blogosphere. I am 100% pure concentrated nerd. I role-played as a kid and still do occasionally. I've played probably at least a thousand different video games since the creation of the Nintendo Entertainment System up until now. I religiously watch cartoons, and have no qualms with taking Bugs Bunny or some action-packed Japanese Animation over watching the latest CNN coverage concerning The War On Terrorism. In short? I am a geek, and no matter how much I try to act like a professional sports blogger, there'll always be that part of me which is trying to push up his glasses, snort when I laugh, and drown myself in fantasy, video games, and the like.

But with that confession now out of the way, you at least know what the expect with this next little tidbit of mine ... goalies meeting Dance Dance Revolution.

Now I know what you more than likely immediately think ... "Oh, for the love of Patrick Roy, isn't that the stupid fake dancing game where you hop up and down on a pad to arrows on a screen and look silly?" And I am not going to deny it, either ... yes, it's that game. The one where if you don't have a grasp on what you're doing, you will look like a total klutz in front of everyone at the arcade (or in your family if you play at home).

But that isn't the point. The point here is that I want to divulge in my geekdom and my passion for ice hockey, and do it at the same time. Which is why I offer you this question ...

"Wouldn't Dance Dance Revolution actually make a pretty good exercise for a goalie?"

This'll probably take more explaining to see where I am coming from, so I've made some visual aids for you today, class. Let me show you an example of what I would normally see on the screen if I was playing a very easy, very simple song on my home version of the game. For reference, this song's speed is 138 BPM (or Beats Per Minute ... any band geeks in the audience should know what I am referring to, hopefully):



Pretty easy, huh? Pathetically easy, even. That's no harder than watching some aerobics instructor in a skin-tight leotard coaxing you along as you watch the Exercise Channel. Surely any goalie, with his lightning fast legs and feet -- despite a confined space on a dance pad (much like the goal crease) -- would be able to do that easier than kick-saving a wicked slapper by the likes of Rick Nash.

So let's speed things up ... let's speed things up a lot. Here is the hardest song on this particular home version, on the hardest difficulty. Once again, for reference, this song's BPM is 300-320, fluctuating throughout:



Yeah, you like that, don't you? A little "zOMG SPEEEEEDY ARROWS!" and suddenly it isn't a happy little aerobic work-out that Marty Brodeur could do with his eyes closed, huh?

So now that I've been able to show an example or two, you can see why I'd ask such a question, as crazy as it might sound. Obviously goalies can't go working out on the ice every single day (well, they can ... but there are also off ice drills to be done as well), and I remember years ago in 2002 when I first got into this, I actually thought about how this was almost similar to what a goalie must do. You're stuck in a box, and you need to do everything you can to mvoe at the precise moments in time to step on (or "stop") the arrows as they go blazing up (or down) the screen.

...

What? I'm done. You can commence laughing at me now. :-p

posted by Michael @ 7:29 PM  

• At 8:35 AM,  Drew said…

  Awesome!
  
  Nothing wrong with being a nerd/geek/whatever, and bonus points for being self-aware. For a time this summer, I became a Guitar Hero-aholic, if you're at all familiar with that game. Most of my PS2 cabinet is filled with the EA hockey and football titles, but I'm not afraid to say that one of the more effective time wasters on the NES for me was Dragon Warrior. So maybe there's more than one geek in Columbus?
  
  I've got an idea for next summer that I may be floating by you in the next few weeks to see what you think. (Hint: it involves the draft)
  
  I'm glad someone here in central OH is keeping up their end of the blogging bargain. I've just been too swamped at work to keep up lately. Hopefully when I get back in town on the 10th, I'll be rested and refreshed for hockey season to start.
  
  Have a great week!

   

• At 10:52 AM,  J.J. Guerrero said…

  Take solace in knowing that geeks shall inherit the earth.
  
  I know I keep telling myself that.
  
  ;)

   

• At 10:54 AM,  J.J. Guerrero said…

  BTW... did you actually get up to level 30???????